I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
