there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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