maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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