Please, let me fuck your mom
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
