Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
