Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
