I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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