she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
