We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
