they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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