you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
