I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize