Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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