She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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