So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
