I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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