Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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