rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
