If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
