i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
