I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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