She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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