my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
