She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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