I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
