I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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