goodnight i made you a song goodbye
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think i got beer on your cat.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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