She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
