new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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