If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
