If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
