and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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