I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
