It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
