Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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