Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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