so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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