I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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