This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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