you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
