ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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