I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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