I think i peed on brittanys purse
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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