i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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