just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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