i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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