i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
