Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yo dont text me then not text me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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