the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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