her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
