I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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