Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize