I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize