Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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