The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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