we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
