Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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