I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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