Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
