it was like his penis was on wheels.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
